Steps to a wedding thank you note

by Jun 5, 20160 comments

The rules dictate that every gift deserves a thank you note.


Between saying “yes” and “I do,” you’ll be doing a lot of note writing. Here are the elements of a perfectly penned letter of gratitude.

Thank you notes are a part of gift-getting, like it or not. We’ve rounded up the elements of an impeccable note of thanks.

Good Stationery

A proper thank you note starts with good stationery: a simple ecru sheet or folded note card is the most traditional choice. Invest in something that represents you as a couple and stock up as soon as you’re engaged. Thank you notes never go out of style (and there are sure to be many soirees thrown in your honour). Consider using your first names – hold off sporting your new or joint monogram until you’re officially wed. Already have a wedding motif in mind? Continue it in your social stationery too.

Nice Pens and a Roll of Stamps

Roller ball pens (in blue or black ink) are best for smooth script, but any pen will work. Just make sure the ink doesn’t absorb into the paper or smear while you’re writing. It’s best to stock up on a few pens and store them with your stationery.


Personalised Details

Personalise your note to reflect your relationship with the addressee and the gift they gave. If you’ve been gifted money, explain how you plan to use it, like we’re saving for our fist house or we can’t wait to indulge at the spa on our honeymoon. Their presence was present too – don’t forget to thank your gift-giver for attending your celebration and for thinking of you at this special time.

Dual Signatures

The gifts you’ve received were intended for you both. Regardless of who’s penning the thank you, sign both of your names – unless of course you’re thanking your bestie for a lacy number received at your bachelorette party. To establish equality, divvy up the list and share the responsibility of note-writing. Some couples divide the list down the middle, while others prefer to write notes to their extended family who may not know their future spouse as well. Do whatever works best for you.

A Sample Letter:

Dear Aunt Kathy and Uncle Rob,

Thank you for the gorgeous cut-crystal wine glasses. Your generous four glasses completed our set. Ben and I are looking forward to your next visit, when we can enjoy a drink together. Thanks for making the trip to share in our wedding day. It meant so much to us both to have you celebrating alongside us. And Uncle Rob, we can always count on your dance moves to get the party started. Thanks again for thinking of us as we enter this next chapter of our lives.

Warmest regards,

Jenny and Ben

P.S. 3 Bonus Tips

  1. When you make your wedding guest list, add a column for gifts received and use it to keep track of your thank you note progress. Bonus: you’ll have all your addresses in one place.
  2. Have supplies (stationery, pens, stamps) on hand and write thank you notes as soon as you receive gifts. For all gifts received before the wedding, notes should be sent within two weeks of their arrival. For all gifts received on or after your wedding, you have three months once you return from your honeymoon to write them.
  3. Don’t attempt to tackle all your notes in one setting. Divide and conquer: put aside thirty minutes a day to chip away at your list. Open a bottle of wine, cue your favourite playlist and write your notes as a couple – it will feel less like a chore.
In your comments, please refrain from using offensive language and unnecessary criticism. If you have to be critical, remember – it must be constructive.


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